Jack: You know this is a Showdown, right Kimiko?
Kimiko: You know those boots make you look like a dweeb, right Jack?
Jack: So not the case. These Shen Gong Wu, the Jetbootsu, allow me to defy gravity. Might as well say bye-bye to the Monkey
Staff, 'cause that one's as good as mine too.
Kimiko: You wish! Fist of Tebigong!
Jack: Oh, like that's gonna work. I can defy gravity, remember?
Jack: Classic miscalculation. Your hot little head has ensured your defeat.
Kimiko: [SCREAMS] Aw, man!
Jack: Check it and weep, baby!
Jack:The Fist of Tebigong is mine! The Jetbootsu are mine! Hey, what's this? The Monkey Staff is mine too. I have the agility
and the balance of a monkey. Hey, and a really cool tail.
Dojo: Brrrrr. This water's cold. I'm telling' ya. I don't know how my cousin Nessie stands living here. 'Course, if you ask me, she likes all the attention. "Hey Look, it's the Loch Ness Monster."
Irish Man: Hey look, it's the Lock Ness Monster!
Omi: Oh, Kimiko, please, do not feel sad.
Kimiko: Don't! And I don't need your pity either.
Omi: I was merely going to point out that you could not not expect to do better, as you are a girl.
Kimiko: Pardon me?
Omi: Since we met, I have been studying all about girls from this eleventh century tome.
Kimiko: The Ancient Guide to Females.
Omi: Yes. It tells us that your talents lie elsewhere. In the kitchen, for example.
Clay: Don't be so hard on Kimiko. She was just trying' to do her level best. Which was pretty good considering'.
Kimiko: Considering what?!
Clay: Considerin' you're such a hot-head.
Omi: I believe her failure is due to her lack of upper-body strength.
Kimiko: I'll show you upper body strength!
Raimundo: Look out, she might use her slip-and-fall move on you.
Dojo: Shen Gong Wu alert!
Raimundo: What do we got?
Omi: Ah, the Tangle Web Comb.
Kimiko: Cool! What does it do?
Raimundo: Oh, man, that's hairy.
Clay: Well let's quit dilly dallyin' and go get it.
Dojo: No where to go. It's here, baby.
Kimiko: As in right here?
Dojo: That's what "here" traditionally means. Right here!
Kimiko: This one's all mine.
Raimundo: Kim's right. It should definitely be hers. She has to replace the one she just lost.
Raimundo: Sorry, I mean the two she just lost.
Omi: Do girls know how to swim?
Kimiko: Got it.
Raimundo: It's a . . . comb. Cute.
Clay: I think it's great you found a comb, Kimiko.
Omi: Oh, yes. Accessorizing is within your talents as a female.
Kimiko: Ugh. Stand back and prepare to be impressed. Tangle Web Comb! Oh yeah, I am so- in trouble! Ah! Hey!
Clay: Um. I don't think she's usin' it right.
Raimundo: You guys wanna go look through Kimiko's stuff?
Omi: Oh I have never looked through a girl's stuff before. This shall be enlightening.
Kimiko: Hey! Touch my stuff and I'll- [GRUNTING]
Master Fung: Kimiko, are you in need of assistance?
Kimiko: No. I just need to practice.
Master Fung: Yes, the Tangle Web Comb is a difficult Shen Gong Wu to master. It requires absolute focus.
Kimiko: I am so all about absolute focus. And I never met an accessory I couldn't handle!
Master Fung: Mhm. I see.
Kimiko: Whoa! Uh, Thanks. But there's something wrong with that stupid comb. I was totally focused.
Master Fung: Is that so? Then please demonstrate your tremendous focus.
Master Fung: Pour some tea.
Kimiko: Is this a joke?
Master Fung: It requires absolute focus to successfully pour tea from that pot into those cups without spilling a single drop.
Kimiko:All right, but this is a serious waste of time. [GRUNTS] See? Totally focused.
Omi: Yuck! This candy is most unpleasant.
Raimundo: That's 'cause it's lipstick. Oops, I think I deleted something.
Kimiko: That's my lipstick, and my PDA!
Master Fung: Keep pouring, Kimiko.
Raimundo: Look guys, Kimiko's serving up tea.
Omi: Ah, the traditional female role.
Clay: Tea sure would hit the spot right about now.
Omi: Oh yes, something tastier than this.
Kimiko: Master Fung!
Master Fung: Keep pouring.
Master Fung: You must drown out all distractions, quiet the storm of your mind. Only then will you achieve absolute focus.
Kimiko: [GRUNTING] Oops. The next one will be perfect.
Omi: I am very surprised that Kimiko can lift such a heavy pot with her delicate female arms.
Kimiko: What?! Ah! [GASPS]
Raimundo: Want to bet chores on when Kimiko will find her focus? This century or next?
Jack: I'm loving this! I have a tail.
Jack:See? I'm happy. Look at me, I'm a monkey in a tree!
Wuya: We have world domination to plan.
Jack: What's the point of world domination if you can't have a little fun?
Jack: Keep it down up there! I hate when my parents have parties.
Wuya: Drop the Monkey Staff! The longer you hold it, the more monkey-like you will become.
Jack: I don't see it.
Alarm: Intruder alert! Intruder alert! Intruder alert!
Ashley Excuse me. [LAUGHS] Sorry, I didn't know anybody was down here.
Jack: What do you want?
Ashley: Ugh, trying to get away from the party. Boring.
Jack: Standard for my folks' parties. Stop fest a go-go
Ashley: So, are you Jack? The kid they're all talkin' about upstairs?
Jack: They're talking about me? What are they saying? Are they calling me a genius?
Ashley:More like weirdo
Jack: Weirdo? What's so weird about me? [MONKEY NOISES]
Jack: Oh, my monkey strength. Hey! Stop touching!
Ashley:You know, this screams evil lair of a super villain intent on taking over the world.
Ashley: Yeah, I like.
Wuya: Indeed? What an intriguing young woman.
Jack: [MONKEY SHRIEK] Out!
Ashley: All right, all right. You don't have to shriek. Monkey-faced freak.
Jack: Yeah, a monkey-faced freak who takes care of business.
Wuya: If only you could deal with the Xiaolin warriors as effectively we wouldn't-
Jack: [MONKEY SCREECH]
Wuya: I am sensing a new Shen Gong Wu. The Golden Tiger Claws.
Jack: Golden Tiger Claws? Golden Tiger Claws? What're the Golden Tiger Claws?
Wuya: Tiger claws made of gold.
Jack: And? And? Spill it woman!
Wuya: Whoever wields them can transport themselves to any location they choose. We must retrieve them. With the Tiger Claws in
our arsenal, we shall be invincible!
Jack: Think I can get a tire swing installed in here?
Omi: The Golden Tiger Claws are inside that palace?
Dojo: Tht's what this rash is telling me. Wonder if there's an ointment for this.
Raimundo: How do we get in there?
Clay: Maybe if we knock on the door and ask real nice like?
Dojo: That's the emperor's palace, they don't just let anybody in there, we need connections.
Kimiko: Oh, no worries. I'll call my dad.
Kimiko: Moshi-moshi papa, Kimiko, yeah. I need a few invites to the emperor's palace. No way. Not going to happen, no. Not in
this lifetime. Really? Do I have to? All right, all right.
Kimiko: We're in, but there's a catch.
Kimiko: Shut it.
Omi: I think Kimiko's clothing is most appropriate. She at last resembles a girl.
Clay: Where're your formal duds, Omi?
Omi: These are my formal robes, Clay. The thread count is slightly higher. Notice the exquisite sheen.
Kimiko: Let's find these Tiger Claws and bail.
Raimundo: Are you planning on walking three steps behind us?
Kimiko: No, I plan on leaving you in my dust.
Raimundo: Be careful or you might…
Raimundo: …fall. Need a hand?
Kimiko: What I need is for you to get out of my way. Stupid kimono. Focus. You can do this. Focus.
Raimundo: Kim's looking wobbly. Anybody want to double our bet? Two weeks of chores?
Kimiko: Any sign of the claws?
Omi: These are lion claws, very similar.
Raimundo: But no dice.
Omi: Oh, dice. Are we looking for dice too?
Raimundo: [EXASPERATED SIGH]
Clay: Nothin' here but dust bunnies.
Dojo: [SNIFFS] I know it's down here somewhere. But more down than here.
Kimiko: Look, there's a door.
Omi: A staircase into the darkness, how very-
Raimundo: After you, Kimiko, unless you're scared.
Omi: Oh, yes, females are easily frightened.
Kimiko: You're lucky you're cute, Omi.
Kimiko: Can anyone see anything?
Kimiko: What's that moaning?
Wuya: Quit your incessant moaning and get the Tiger Claws you fool.
Jack: Can't help it. I'm banana-nausiated.
Kimiko: It's Jack! And he's headed towards [GASPS] the Tiger Claws!
Jack: I so don't need this right now. Jack-Bots, get rid of them! Now. And get me some ginger ale.
Jack-Bot: Yes, sir.
Jack: [BURPS] Thanks. You can crush them now.
Omi: Water! Ah-cha!
Clay: Earth! Thanks for droppin' by, or just droppin'
Wuya: Why do you built these stupid machines? They are useless!
Jack: Mom said I needed a hobby. [BURPS] That's better. Now for the Claws! [SHRIEKS]
Kimiko: Not so fast, Jack! Fire! Ha!
Jack: Sweet. Kimiko, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown.
Kimiko: Name your game, Jack.
Jack: A race across the bridges. First one over wins. What do you say Kimiko?
Kimiko: I say let's go. Xiaolin Showdown.
Both: Gong yi tan pai!
Kimiko: [GROWLS] Might be better if I was wearing high-tops.
Dojo: Get in the game girl!
Raimundo: Anyone want to double our little wager again? Omi? Clay?
Jack: [SHRIEKING] Whoo hoo hoo. This is too easy.
Jack: Woah. Oh. Ah.
Jack: That's a good look for you. [LAUGHS]
Kimiko: Stupid showdown.
Jack: [SHRIEKING] Hey, what's keeping you?
Kimiko: [GROWLING] [PANTING]
Jack: It helps if you don't fall on your butt. [LAUGHS] [HOWLS]
Kimiko: Tangle Web Comb!
Kimiko: No! Let me go you stupid- [MUMBLING]
Jack: [LAUGHING] [SHRIEKING]
Kimiko: [MUFFLED SCREAMING]
Master Fung: You must drown out all distractions. Calm the storm of your mind. Only then will you achieve absolute focus.
Jack: The Tiger Claws are mine! [SHRIEKS] Hey! [SCREMS]
Kimiko: It worked!
Jack: Big deal, you got the Monkey Staff.
Omi: She has achieved absolute focus.
Jack: Too bad I'm only one small step- Whoa! No!
Kimiko: [LAUGHS] Whoo hoo!
Raimundo: Told you she would.
Clay: Looks like you win the bet partner.
Raimundo: I never doubted her for a second.
Omi: We shall do all your chores for the next week.
Raimundo: For the next four weeks. We doubled. Twice, remember?
Omi: Actually, I was hoping you would forget.
Kimiko: How you like me now?
Raimundo: Good job.
Clay: You whooped old Jack butt good.
Omi: Kimiko, you have taught me much about the strength of women. I now completely understand the modern female.
Kimiko: Let's just say you've made a step in the right direction. Which is good. I'm hoping to get a little more respect
Raimundo: You got it monkey butt. [LAUGHS]
Omi: Girls have tails?
Wuya: I cannot believe your incompetence. You lost yet another Xiaolin Showdown.
Jack: Couldn't help it. I had bananas and tire swings on my mind.
Wuya: More importantly, you underestimated your opponent. There must be other competent humans in this realm I could work
Ashley: I'm your girl.
Jack: Crush her!
Ashley: [CAT NOISES] Call me, Katnappe. Meow. Purr.
Jack: Evil diva!
Wuya: Hmmm she is evil. My dear girl, have you ever heard of the Shen Gong Wu?