Kimiko: Nice, Omi! Eight seconds faster than Raimundo.
Raimundo: Yeah, you’re one slippery little dude.
Omi: I foolishly and shamefully lost a quarter-second on the sandbags. As you might say, I smell bad.
Raimundo: I stink, not I smell bad.
Omi: I stink?
Raimundo: Yeah, and you smell bad too. [SNICKERS]
Kimiko: All right, Clay, you’re the last one up.
Clay: So all I got to do is be the fastest to get to that doggie?
Clay: All right. [DEEP BREATH]
Raimundo: Your record’s safe. Clay’s element is earth; speed of a rock.
Kimiko: Ready, set, go!
Clay: Here you go. Think I shaved a few seconds off your record, Omi.
Omi: But- But you are supposed to go run and jump and kick!
Clay: I didn’t much see the point of all that whoopin’ and hollerin’ so long as I got the dog.
Raimundo: Or, you knew you couldn’t beat us with your old man kung fu.
Omi: [LAUGHING] Raimundo mocks Clay’s Tai Chi by calling it “old man kung fu!” He implies that Clay is like an old man doing kung fu! [LAUGHS HARDER]
Kimiko: Omi, ix-nay on the easing-tay
Master Fung: Is there something funny about old men and their kung fu, young monk?
Omi: [GASPS] Master Fung.
Master Fung: You do recall, Omi, that the oldest oak in the grove is by far the strongest, yes?
Omi: Yes, master. Um…Clay cheated!
Master Fung: Oh? There is more to being a Xiaolin Dragon than running and jumping, young monk.
Omi: Oh yes, Master! There is kicking too!
Master Fung: True, but being a Xiaolin Dragon also means seeing the world in a different way. For example, finding simple solutions to complicated problems. Well done, Clay.
Clay: Thank you, sir.
Dojo: Look alive, people. We’ve got a hot Shen Gong Wu.
Master Fung: The Fist of Tebigong. A most powerful Shen Gong Wu, indeed.
Raimundo: Ooh, it packs a punch. Literally.
Master Fung: Quickly, young ones. Choose your own Shen Gong Wu for battle.
Raimundo: Dibs on the Eye of Dashi!
Omi: No! You cannot have it! Raimundo, you do not know what it will do.
Raimundo: Sure I do, it’s supposed to shoot lightning or something. Besides, I called it.
Omi: But I won it in the Showdown. I should be the first to use it.
Master Fung: Fighting over a Shen Gong Wu? Are you two trying to start a Xiaolin Showdown?
Omi: Master Fung, please decide which of us should take the Eye of Dashi.
Master Fung: Hmm. It should go to the winner of the obstacle course challenge.
Omi: Yes! In your head, Raimundo!
Raimundo: In your face.
Omi: Talk to my fingers!
Master Fung: I didn’t mean you, Omi. Clay was the fastest.
Omi: What?! But he-
Clay: Much obliged, Master Fung, sir.
Master Fung: The Mantis Flip Coin and Two-Ton Tunic.
Raimundo: Yeah, yeah, all right.
Kimiko: Thank you Master Fung.
Omi: I get no Shen Gong Wu?
Master Fung: We have but three, Omi. If you want one, I suggest you retrieve the Fist of Teibigong.
Dojo: You heard the man. C’mon, shake your tails, we got a Shen Gong Wu to find.
Jack: Yeah, I like it. This Third Arm Sash is tight.
Wuya: Insolent boy! You are misusing the power of a Shen Gong Wu!
Jack: Oh, c’mon, what’s the point of taking over the world if you can’t have a little fun? Look at me. I can juggle.
Wuya: You are wasting time! The Fist of Teibigong awaits! It must be mine!
Jack: Ah, ah ah, we’re partners, remember? So that Shen Gong Wu is ours. [SIPS] Unless you can suddenly pick things up with those see-through hands.
Jack: [CHUCKLES] Yeah, that’s what I thought. Power down, we’ll get your fist thing as soon as I’m done. You got a problem? Hey, go walk against wind somewhere else.
Jack: First order of business when I rule the world: vaporize all mimes.
[WHOOSHING OF LASSO]
Jack: Huh? Wait a minute, what’s goin’ on here? [BEEPING] Okay clown you’re toast!
Wuya: Wait! This mime has magical abilities.
Wuya: Yes, I believe he may be of use to us. Or do you require another demonstration?
Jack: No, I’m good.
Dojo: The Fist of Teibigong must be close, ‘cause I’m getting a wicked case of Shen Gong Wu rash. [SCRATCHING]
Kimiko: Could you be more specific?
Dojo: Yeah, it kinda itches here, but it’s more burny down here, behind my tail I’ve got this unsightly cracking. I mean it it’s-
Kimiko: I meant with the location of the Shen Gong Wu. Can you tell us exactly where it is?
Raimundo: Yeah, instead of making us look behind every- [GASPS] Jack Spicer!
Jack Spicer: Surprise, surprise. Robo-minions.
[CLANG] [BLADES SWIRLING]
Omi: Water! [GRUNTS AND YELLS]
Raimundo: Wind! Hey robot, forget something?
Kimiko: Fire! [YELLS]
Dojo: Woah, woah, woah. Hey watch out! Uh, Clay, big fight here. Wanna get in the game?
Clay: Just takin’ my cleansin’ breath. Now I’m ready. [GRUNTS][YELLS]
Kimiko: Two-Ton Tunic! Are you all right?
Clay: Don’t worry about us none. Just get that Shen Gong Wu.
Raimundo: Mantis Flip Coin. [YELLS] Bet you wish you had this Shen Gong Wu.
Omi: Yes. But you need it more than me.
Omi: The battle is over, Spicer! You lost.
Jack: What ever shall we do?
Wuya: Perhaps they should meet our new friend, Le Mime.
Kimiko: [GIGGLES] You brought a mime?
Raimundo: What’re you gonna do? Annoy us to death?
Kimiko: Look at him, he’s pretending to put us inside a box. [LAUGHS] So lame. Oh no, we are trapped. We can not get out.
Omi: Very silly. I- [GRUNTS] Hey.
Raimundo: Ow. There is a wall here.
Kimiko: Uh, guys, we really are trapped.
Jack: You kids have fun. We’re off to get the Fist of Teibigong.
Clay: Hey, what’re y’all doin’ here? Shouldn’t you be roundin’ up that Fist of Teibigong? What’s that? I can’t hear you.
Dojo: Oh! They’re playin’ charades.
Clay: Odd time for fancy pants parlor games, but you guys know best.
Clay: Let’s see…I reckon that’s-
Dojo: Fabric softener! An igloo! Tooth decay! Danish ham! It’s sun-cured ham!
Clay: Nope, that’s a monkey if I ever seen one. Maybe a lemur.
Omi: He cannot hear us.
Kimiko: He thinks we’re playing charades.
Raimundo: Fine, I gotta charade for him.
Dojo: Raimindo. Good Start. Heine, tukus, gluteus maximus.
Dojo: Right. Kick.
Clay: Me. Raimundo’s gonna kick my- hey!
Dojo: Ooh. Five yards for unnecessary roughness.
Clay: Mister, you done made me mad. I’m gonna- ooh. H-hey. What?
Raimundo: I-t’s So-me So-rt of in-vi-si-ble box. Hey. Took him long enough.
Kimiko: Move. [BEEPING]
Clay: Trapped by mime magic. Stop jack, get Shen Gong Wu!
Dojo: Magic mime? They’ve always been obnoxious, but now they’re dangerous too? Hey! Woah!
Omi: Our fates rest in Clay’s hands.
Kimiko: So what you’re saying is: we’re doomed.
Raimundo: Been nice knowin’ you guys.
Omi: Kimiko, Raimundo, we must have faith in our comrade, Clay.
Raimundo: Old man kung fu to the rescue? Pfft, not in this life.
Kimiko: Face it, Omi. If Clay’s our last hope, we’re hopeless.
Raimundo: Good-bye Fist of Teibigong.
Kimiko: Hello 10,000 years of darkness.
Omi: You may have a point. [YELLS]
Dojo: Warmer. You’re getting warmer. Yeah, that Fist of Teibigong is so near, I can practically- Brakes!
Clay: Don’t want no trouble, Mime.
Dojo: One of you guys gonna do something?
Clay: Seems like the fella don’ mean any harm.
Dojo: Beat it, Frenchie!
Clay: He’s doin’ everything I do.
Dojo: The mirror gag. Man, I hate mimes.
Dojo: Cute, but we do have a Shen Gong Wu to find.
Clay: I reckon’ I got an idea.
Dojo: Woah. Way to take one for the team.
Kimiko: Give it a rest, Raimundo.
Raimundo: No, there has got to be some way out of here. [YELLS] Okay. Those walls are solid.
Kimiko: Let me try. [YELLS]
Kimiko: You’re right. Those walls are solid.
Omi: Silence, please.
Omi: Oh, come on, I just said “silence.” I even said “please.”
Kimiko: Just want to know what you’re doing, Omi.
Omi: I am building my chi so that I can perform the ancient and fearsome Tsunami Strike. It’ll be cold dud.
Kimiko: Cool, dude.
Omi: I stand corrected. Now, silence please.
Omi: You are right. Those walls are very solid.
Wuya: I sense the Fist of Teibigong. It’s close.
Jack: We’ll find it. My robots will turn this mountain to rubble if they have to.
Jack: See, mountain of rubble.
Wuya: Find me the Fist of Teibigong or I’ll-
Jack: What? Replace me?
Wuya: Hmm, there’s a thought.
Jack: Not likely.
Dojo: Wuya’s right. That fist is close.
Clay: C’mon. Move real quiet-like.
Dojo: Don’t insult me. I’m all about stealth. And I’m very- [YELLS] Hey. The Fist of Teibigong. Check me out with the moves.
Jack: Yeah, check you out.
Dojo: Uh-oh. Security!
Dojo: I knew I could count on that gut. [SCREAMS]
Clay: Giddyup, Dojo!
Wuya: Need I say it? Stop them!
Jack: Third-Arm Sash! Too slow, cowboy. Too slow.
Omi: There must be some way out of this box.
Kimiko: If there is, I’m not seeing it. Then again, I’m not seeing the box.
Raimundo: Well, I’m not too proud to beg. Hey, hilarious mister mime guy! Let us out! We think mimes are charming and funny! Not at all stupid! Let. Us. Out!
Omi: Raimundo! Stop!
Kimiko: Yeah, splitting headache developing here.
Omi: What is that?
Raimundo: The bars, duh.
Kimiko: This box has bars? I thought the walls were solid.
Raimundo: Well, they are, but there are bars too, I guess.
Kimiko: Or are there bars because you imagined them?
Raimundo: Don’t play mind games, girl.
Omi: So, if I imagine a door, will it be here too?
Omi: Yes! Simple solutions to complicated problems.
Kimiko: Oh, check you out with the big brain.
Omi: My first girl-hug. May I have another?
Kimiko: Easy, Omi, one per customer.
Raimundo: Well, this is nice, eh? The three of us friends having a few laughs together. But where’s our fourth friend, Mr. Clay? Oh that’s right. He’s losing the Fist of Teibigong to Jack Spicer! Did you guys forget that?! [STEAMING]
Wuya: What are you waiting for? Vaporize him! Jack: Wuya, Wuya, Wuya, How long have you been at this villain game?
Wuya: I wreaked havoc and destruction while the earth was still young and mankind was just crawling out of the mud.
Jack: And yet you still make amateur mistakes. Everyone knows, gloating first, then vaporizing. You’ve come far, Clay, but you didn’t count on the magnificently evil mind of Jack Spicer! [CACKLES] See? Good gloat. Great laugh.
Wuya: You talk too much.
Clay: Ghost lady’s got a point. Eye of Dashi.
Jack: [SCREAMS] It’s glowing!
Clay: It looks like we’re headed for a Xiaolin Showdown you dirty snake.
Omi: This way. Hurry.
Dojo: Hey guys, you’re just in time.
Jack: Clay, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdwon.
Clay: Name your game, Jack.
Jack: That robin. First one to catch it wins.
Omi: Oh, catch a robin?
Clay: Okay, Jack, I accept your challenge.
Jack: Sucker! Let’s go.
Jack and Clay: Xiaolin Showdown!
Kimiko, Raimundo, and Omi: Woah!
Kimiko: Still not used to that.
Jack: Ready, cowboy?
Clay: Ready as I’ll ever be.
Both: Gong yi tan pai!
Jack: Third-Arm Sash!
Kimiko: Jack’s on fire.
Omi: Yes, but Clay has yet to become enflamed.
Clay: [BREATHS DEEPLY]
Raimundo: Well, he’s breathing. I’m guessing he’s alive.
Omi: Does he not know the showdown has started?
Dojo: Don’t you worry your pretty little heads, my man Clay is…still doing nothing! Hey! Get your butt in there! Move!
Omi: Look out!
Omi: Seize the bird, Clay!
Kimiko: Do something!
Raimundo: At least shoot some lightning! I just wanna see it once!
Kimiko: What’s he doing?
Raimundo: If I had to guess: flower arrangement.
Omi: This does not inspire confidence.
Dojo: Just tell me when it’s over.
Clay: Hey there little fella. Enjoy the grub.
Kimiko: He did it!
Clay: Oh, thanks y’all.
Omi: Clay has me tripping on very cold stones!
Raimundo: No, no, no. Clay’s got you stone cold trip- ah forget it.
Wuya: Pathetic boy.
Jack: Can I get a rematch? Or a do-over? Something’s clearly wrong here. [WHIMPERS]
Omi: Eye of Dashi, the Fist of Teibigong, and the Third-Arm Sash.
Raimundo: Way to clean up, Clay.
Clay: I made out okay, I figure.
Kimiko: Aw, look at clay. Beaming like the big hero.
Clay: Aw, now, you’re gonna make me blush.
Raimundo: So, Clay, can I give the Eye of Dashi a try?
Clay: Sure thing Ry.
Omi: What?! I should try it before you! I found it!
Raimundo: You snooze, you lose.
Omi: then perhaps I’ll try out the Fist of Teibigong on your head!
Kimiko: Guys, knock it off, or I’ll Third-Arm Sash your mouth off.
Clay: Besides, I’d like to think we all learned a little somethin’ today.
Kimiko: Never lose faith in a friend?
Omi: The value of simple solutions?
Raimundo: Omi can’t use slang?
Clay: Nope. We learned everybody hates mime.